NSFW Sunday Desires Lesbian Friends With Pros | Autostraddle

[
highlighted picture via maurizio di iorio
]

Evidently it’s simply
„not too quick“ for males and women to be „friends with benefits“ or even to have „no strings attached
.“ This notion is actually a hot subject at this time, as a result of country’s enjoyment with regards to „No Strings With Advantages,“ the remake of the Natalie Portman/Ashton Kutcher original from earlier this season, this time around featuring Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake.

But what about lesbians?

Once upon a time I experienced a habit of having into these situations with „straight women“ — the absence of strings ended up being implicit inside commitment because clearly a straight girl wasn’t trying to find a commitment with a lady. Particularly when she currently had a boyfriend. Every crisis, all the gender, and none of this commitment! It is magical/excruciating.

Although I caution against following or
dropping in deep love with
or
confessing your own love for a directly girl
and have now never ever done this myself personally, direct women are excellent enjoyable as friends-with-benefits if you will keep your feelings within a secure little box. „In your box office,“ as we say.

But
buddies with advantages between two real-live lesbian females
or perhaps you learn, bisexual or else interested-in-ladies females? A lot of declare that it is too challenging because females have plenty of thoughts, but it’s already been recognized to happen. Possibly. Sometimes two ladies only wanna have a great time! (like
Whitney Mixter
)

But, in a write-up which asks practical question „why could there be no female version of grindr?“,
WildCherry argues
:

„generally speaking homosexual males take to casual sex like a duck to water. Straights hold their for the informal gender stakes but behind-the-scenes it is rather often guys driving these experiences. If it is remaining up to 2 women, circumstances come to be less feverish.“

At Examiner.com,
The Lesbian union blogger has many advice for getting friends with advantages
, like „if you find yourself over the woman need for one end up being devoted or phone the lady frequently, just stating „I told you I didn’t want something severe,“ does not get you off the hook.“

Ashley at Diffuse5.com
has some suggestions
from a lesbian point of view but moreover, Dara Nai at AfterEllen finds an easy way to discuss gender on AfterEllen along with her breakdown of

Friends With Benefits

entitled
We All Want Friends With Benefits
:

“

Pals with Advantages goes whenever Harry Met Sally one better. In place of inquiring whether women and men could be only friends, it assumes they can today. Issue in 2011 is: Can buddies have sexual intercourse rather than fall-in love, or even worse, screw up the friendship? Well, sh-t howdy, lesbians have been inquiring ourselves that for decades.“

In September 2009,
New York period published a write-up labeled as „what exactly do Women Want“
in what transforms ladies on, concentrating at first on a study of feminine need conducted by recognized scientist Meredith Chivers. She did tests which involved enjoying different sorts of pornography, and found that although men responded genitally in „classification specific“ methods (right men like directly pornography, etc) that:

„It doesn’t matter what their unique self-proclaimed intimate orientation, [women] confirmed, all in all, strong and swift penile arousal when the display screen provided men with men, women with women and ladies with guys.“

Furthermore, with regards to involved discrepencies amongst the topic’s reported arousal (that they typed about) and their actual arousal (that was determined by fancy systematic products attached to various key parts of the body):

„…with the ladies, especially the direct ladies, brain and genitals seemed hardly to fit in with similar person. The readings through the plethysmograph additionally the keypad just weren’t in much accord. During shots of lesbian coupling, heterosexual women reported much less enjoyment than their unique vaginas suggested; viewing gay males, they reported a great deal less; and seeing heterosexual sexual intercourse, they reported much more. Among lesbian volunteers, both readings converged whenever ladies showed up about screen. But when the movies showcased just guys, the lesbians reported less involvement as compared to plethysmograph taped.“

The whole article is fascianting, actually, but the primary component is these studies could „move just how ladies regard their own ability to get switched on.“ Or maybe maybe not:

„…sometimes Chivers talked as though the specific woodland wasn’t obvious at all, as though their difficulties were an indication less of intrinsic intricacy than of social attempts to modify feminine eros, of cultural limitations that have kept ladies crave dampened, altered, inaccessible to understanding. „many societies have actually rather rigid requirements regulating female sex,“ she mentioned. „if it sexuality is relatively passive, after that exactly why numerous principles to manage it? Exactly why is it thus terrifying?“ There clearly was the implication, inside her terms, that she might never ever illuminate the woman subject matter because she couldn’t even find it, that the information she along with her co-workers accumulate might be misleading, might portray just the creations of society, and that the woman interpretations might-be top away from fundamental fact. There seemed to be the intimation that, at their core, ladies sex will not be passive after all. There is the possibility that the lengthy reputation for anxiety have buried the nature of women’s crave too significantly to unearth, to see.“

Sometime while seeking website links with this subject I ended up only at that syllabus for a class called
College Sex & Philosophy: Friends with Advantages
and somehow from that point wound up with this directory of
Go Ask Alice
advice questions about LGBTQ issues and I also think you want that too. Its like we are taking a journey online together.

Finally, some other person thinks
buddies with benefits is actually medically difficult
, however from everything I read of it, In my opinion this some body is really wrong.

PRETTY TUMBLR ALERT:

Freckled

:
Devoted to the passion for freckled females
.

PRETTY PHOTOGRAPHY ALARM THROUGH CHD-WCK.COM:

CHD-WK!
: In Her Own Very Own Body

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